My lovely flatmate, upon hearing her new boyfriend once got a lapdance in a strip club:
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Her:
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you had some thing with an Eastern European topless stripper!
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Him:
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ow get off my balls no they really hurt right now
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Her:
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I don't even feel bad, you should feel bad
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Him:
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I'm going to be peeing blood later
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Her:
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would you pay me? If I sat on you?
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Him:
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...
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Her:
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was it not really awkward when you got a hard-on in front of everybody?
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Him:
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it wasn't in front of everybody, I -
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Her:
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so you got a little room OH MY GOD A LITTLE ROOM
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Him:
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stop, don't punch me please don't
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